You're Wrong

I have a new friend whose favorite way to tell a joke follows this pattern: "If you think _____________, you're wrong."

I have since tried to use this joke pattern as a vehicle for my own daily jokes.  And if you think it's not blowing my mind, you're wrong.

Instead of saying Jason Bateman is so funny, I say "If you think the world could contain any ounce of cinematic humor without Jason Bateman, you're wrong."

Instead of saying these cherry blossoms make me want to eat popcorn, I say "If you think I'm not considering just how exactly I could take an armful and make a treat, you're wrong."

Or instead of saying Kelly loves Justin Bieber, I say "If you think Kelly has ever imagined someone other than herself as the future Mrs. Bieber, you're wrong."

If you think you can try out this joke pattern without getting a laugh, you're wrong.

And you can quote me on that because I am never wrong.