I'm not going to lie. This last year has been Rough. Capital R, with an extra umph to the ough.
I've felt kind of beat up, rejected, kicked while I'm down, a little lost, a lot out of place, lonely, frustrated, helpless, hopeless, and that my life is destined to be much more wandering in the wilderness than it will be journeying to the promised land.
Surprisingly it's not so much that I've been depressed or sad, it's more that I've just been...tired. Really, really tired. My upper lip is tired of being stiff. My neck is tired from keeping my chin up. And my attitude is the most tired of all.
Every once in a while I'll look at other people and wonder why it is things seem to work out for them. Why it is that they seem to get what they want while I get...what I need?
A few weeks ago, I watched a Korean romcomdram (romantic comedy drama) called Personal Taste. It is an outrageous, quirky, cheesy show and yet I don't think I am exaggerating when I say I have never watched anything that has had more heartfelt, realistic, touching life lessons.
One of those lessons is between two childhood friends - one (Kim Hee) who is determined to get whatever she wants and does.
And the other (Gae In) who seems to have all the bad luck despite her efforts and loving ways.
In the end, Kim Hee is very cruel to Gae In in order to get what she wants. She has always been jealous of the love that seems to surround Gae In.
In one of the most tender scenes, Kim Hee cries: "I never get anything, even if I want it so much I could die. But why is it you can have it all?"
Gae In says to Kim Hee: "I never tried to have it all. You're really a fool. You're the only one who doesn't know how much it is you really have."
I guess I've been thinking for a long time that I was more like Gae In, with bad luck following me every where despite all my efforts. Now I guess I've been thinking that I'm actually like Kim Hee, just a fool who doesn't realize how much it is I really have.
Dang those Korean romcomdrams and their excellent representations of the complexities of the human heart!
I've felt kind of beat up, rejected, kicked while I'm down, a little lost, a lot out of place, lonely, frustrated, helpless, hopeless, and that my life is destined to be much more wandering in the wilderness than it will be journeying to the promised land.
Surprisingly it's not so much that I've been depressed or sad, it's more that I've just been...tired. Really, really tired. My upper lip is tired of being stiff. My neck is tired from keeping my chin up. And my attitude is the most tired of all.
Every once in a while I'll look at other people and wonder why it is things seem to work out for them. Why it is that they seem to get what they want while I get...what I need?
A few weeks ago, I watched a Korean romcomdram (romantic comedy drama) called Personal Taste. It is an outrageous, quirky, cheesy show and yet I don't think I am exaggerating when I say I have never watched anything that has had more heartfelt, realistic, touching life lessons.
One of those lessons is between two childhood friends - one (Kim Hee) who is determined to get whatever she wants and does.
And the other (Gae In) who seems to have all the bad luck despite her efforts and loving ways.
In the end, Kim Hee is very cruel to Gae In in order to get what she wants. She has always been jealous of the love that seems to surround Gae In.
Gae In says to Kim Hee: "I never tried to have it all. You're really a fool. You're the only one who doesn't know how much it is you really have."
I guess I've been thinking for a long time that I was more like Gae In, with bad luck following me every where despite all my efforts. Now I guess I've been thinking that I'm actually like Kim Hee, just a fool who doesn't realize how much it is I really have.
Dang those Korean romcomdrams and their excellent representations of the complexities of the human heart!
2 comments:
It's ok Ashley. Personal Taste has a lesson for everyone. For some it's that they need to come out of the closet and be openly gay, for others it's that they need to stop eating like a farm animal infront of men(that was my lesson). Personal Taste changes lives everyday and always for the better.
Hahahaha. So true.
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